Friday, February 12, 2016

Emotional Growth


As people grow emotionally their thoughts become more purposeful.  They naturally become more growth mindset oriented.  They see mistakes as learning opportunities, hold themselves accountable when needed, and spend less emotional energy on outcomes. Now to some degree, they will be irrational, get sad, maybe even depressed, but when life happens these circumstances have less impact on important areas of functioning. 

They basically think less, especially about themselves.  Their thoughts get simpler and more rational.  Their ability to focus gets enhanced as their EQ increases because less circumstances in the environment grab their attention or trigger negative thoughts.  I call this unplugging.

I was talking about this with a friend recently and he asked me if this meant they got "hyper focused."  I think of it more as thinking without distraction.  Imagine trying to hit a baseball while people are jumping up and down next to you, or running up to you with their fists balled up aggressively.  The thoughts about the maybes, what if's and bad experiences from the past are just like those people keeping your eye off the ball. 

People often experience great boosts of emotional growth after only 3 sessions of EMDR because traumatic events from the past that often get triggered by a song, a smell, date, or time of year have less of an emotional impact, which allows them to use their emotional energy more efficiently. They don't notice the colors, or TV commercials that once reminded them of the bad breakup.  They are more at peace.  Life doesn't become easy but it certainly becomes easier.