Sunday, October 17, 2010

In Control or In Charge?

An accident in the blink of an eye, a partner decides to leave the relationship, hurricane force winds destroy a home; these things happen so fast and are beyond our control. Depression, anxiety, obsessions-compulsions, these come on fast or gradually and are beyond are control.

We talk of “being in control” but the truth is that we are never as “in control” as we like to think we are. Life is cumulative. Events, reactions, and patterns form prior to the time we are even able to be conscious of them.

A better way for us to think, instead of control, is to learn how to be “in charge”. In charge implies something completely different than in control. In charge implies a willingness to make decisions about what happens to us and also invites input from other sources that can be taken into consideration or ignored. In charge is to delegate to others the responsibility that belongs to them and encourage them in that responsibility. In control is just the opposite.

We may not have control over things that come to us, but we can, with help and support, learn how to be in charge of the effect anxiety, depression, anger, obsessions, moods, other people and events has over us. Don’t hesitate. Do your life the honor of learning how to take charge, today.

1 comment:

  1. Ok, so how does one do that? How does somebody actually take charge. For me the inertia has been difficult to overcome.